Firsts and Lasts

Our summer has been EXACTLY they way it is supposed to be. Happy kids, tired mom. 24-hour parenting with FOUR kids including an on-the-go 9 month old. We've had A LOT of fun and although I am constantly being told "I don't know how do you do it" I honestly can't imagine NOT doing it.

Lydia has afforded me the blessing of experiencing a new "set of firsts" as I brace for the inevitability of the first "set of lasts". Yes, yes...it may sound premature but practically, you can't prepare yourself for how it all goes down nor the speed in which it seems to happen. It's happening slowly with Jonathan, almost unnoticeable...but yet I see it. Nick and Kate trail closely behind. I'm bracing myself for the last time he crawls into bed with me in the middle of the night to cuddle. This is when we have the best whispered conversations in the dark. The last time he willingly holds my hand or kisses me on the lips.  The last time he laughs at my stupid jokes or my weak sense of humor. The last time he uses the word "play" when going outside or with a friend. The last time the kids menu is a sufficient amount of food. The last time he turns around to look at ME first, his mom, with the proudest of grins when he scores a goal in soccer. The last time he simply needs me.

There are several others but the point is, I know the time will come sooner than I realize...when I'm compelled to release all that I have held fast and dear to for so many years. I read another blog awhile back that shed a more positive light on the somewhat depressing fact that they do, in fact, grow up and move on.  It said, "The good news is that just like the first time around when they were so very little, each of these lasts leads to a first".  There IS so much to look forward to. In the meantime, I've made a vow to myself that I will soak every ounce of it up. To continue to be involved and to make every effort to be free from the constant distraction of this world...to give them my total and complete presence. My investment is in them and I don't want to miss a moment while they're mine for the little time they have been entrusted to me. So I'll enjoy the firsts and the lasts...along with the dirty laundry, the crazy schedule, the constant mess, the bickering and all that comes with having kids because one day it will be quiet and clean and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

 (Nick-7, Kate-6, Lydia-9 months, Jon-9)