With a snap of a picture and a blink of an eye, away he went. My tiny boy. My 5-year-old. Driving away on that big yellow bus. I stood silently and said a prayer that the complete stranger behind the wheel would get my baby to school safely. And as I walked back to my quiet house, a rush of thoughts came to me…how can this possibly be harder than dropping him off to daycare when he was just 8 weeks old? It is. It's harder. Why on earth did I rush this?
I can't really remember kindergarten myself, but I can imagine the mix of emotions my son was dealing with, because I was dealing with the same ones on the mommy level. His hesitation was apparent to all present at the bus stop...his little arm around my hips, his head digging in to my side.
We had a moment...last night. Jonathan and I. I went up to his room and crawled up the ladder of his bunk bed to kiss him goodnight and talk to him about his big day. I explained to him that if he saw mommy cry at the bus stop in the morning it was because she was both happy and sad. Happy he was going to kindergarten and sad because he was growing up on her. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I had NO control. With red eyes and tiny tears wet on his own cheeks, he crawled over and gave me the biggest, most genuine hug and said with a brave and comforting tone, "Mommy, I'm really going to miss you."
A sweet shot straight to the heart.
I told myself I wasn't going to cry when I put him on the bus. I knew I wouldn't be the only one if I did, but the thought of crying in public, no matter how sentimental the reason, was just too embarrassing. My own personal waterworks began after I returned home from dropping Nick and Kate off at preschool. I'd held it together up until that moment but coming home to a quiet, empty house...I let it go. Boy did I let it go.
It was official, my first baby was a big kindergarten boy.
I can't really remember kindergarten myself, but I can imagine the mix of emotions my son was dealing with, because I was dealing with the same ones on the mommy level. His hesitation was apparent to all present at the bus stop...his little arm around my hips, his head digging in to my side.
We had a moment...last night. Jonathan and I. I went up to his room and crawled up the ladder of his bunk bed to kiss him goodnight and talk to him about his big day. I explained to him that if he saw mommy cry at the bus stop in the morning it was because she was both happy and sad. Happy he was going to kindergarten and sad because he was growing up on her. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I had NO control. With red eyes and tiny tears wet on his own cheeks, he crawled over and gave me the biggest, most genuine hug and said with a brave and comforting tone, "Mommy, I'm really going to miss you."
A sweet shot straight to the heart.
I told myself I wasn't going to cry when I put him on the bus. I knew I wouldn't be the only one if I did, but the thought of crying in public, no matter how sentimental the reason, was just too embarrassing. My own personal waterworks began after I returned home from dropping Nick and Kate off at preschool. I'd held it together up until that moment but coming home to a quiet, empty house...I let it go. Boy did I let it go.
It was official, my first baby was a big kindergarten boy.
I had to restrain Kate...she was halfway up the steps of the bus. No fear.
Jonathan's friends and fellow Kindergartener's
The apprehensive walk up the hill with Daddy
They insisted they take their backpacks to see their big brother off.
3 comments:
Made me cry!
ok, I had tears rolling down my cheeks myself. I am going to be a mess next year. I cannot it has been 5 years. wow. hope you are doing better. I bet the afterschool discussion will be a nonstop converstaion.
Brought back a lot of memories with Maci, and I was crying right along with you! I have round 2 on Monday. I'm sure I'll be just as big a mess with Maddox going. How have our babies grown up on us! your an amazing mom!
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